SCHOOLING GIRLS IN THE TIME OF PATRIARCHY

Through 3 years of high school we had many struggles, among which were financial problems, especially during the winter. We would travel 18 km from the village to te city. Sometimes when we had school until 19:00 we couldn’t return home, luckily we would go to my uncle’s apartament.

Illustration: Argjira Kukaj

Writing about yourself isn’t just writing, it is opening a drawer of wounds and laughs, happiness and sadness, being upset or giving up and of hope and raising back on your feet. The history of my successes is here, but without some details which I hope to share with you soon. As a child I was introverted, I wouldn’t socialize with others but I was very quiet, careful and ambitious. When we would have guests, they would say: “this girl is going to be a teacher or doctor”. I didn’t know my life purpose or my career choice, but I thought I wanted to be a doctor. 

Because we live in the village, I waited 1 year for my sister to be in a class with her. We finished our primary and high school together. “Finish these 9 years, get a diploma like Lindita did and stay at home” is a sentence which when it was said to me, felt like the sky fell on my head. Being in a society where patriarchy and manhood ruled, they wanted to keep us away from our right to get educated. Our parents understood us, especially our mom who raised her voice saying: “these are my daughters, I raised them, I schooled them up to here and they have their lives ahead, I don’t want them having the same luck as I did where I couldn’t make decisions for my self. Our parents decided to trust us, they decided to not ruin our future and have us wings. 

I decided to go to high school with my sister. We got registered at the gymnasium of social sciences in Mitrovicë. Through 3 years of high school we had many struggles, among which were financial problems, especially during the winter. We would travel 18 km from the village to the city. Sometimes when we had school until 19:00 we couldn’t return home, luckily we would go to my uncle’s apartament. 

Through all the struggles, there is a certain day of high school I will always remember. It was a Thursday and that day we had a parent teacher meeting. It was 7 pm… my dad walked in the room and we all stood up to respect him. I was so curious to ask him what my head teacher and professors had said about us.  

While he was taking his jacket off I said: “Are you tired dad” What did the head teacher say about us? He answered: “No, I’m not tired. All the parents were there. Your head teacher said that I was lucky to have such daughters and how in all his years of working at the gymnasium he hadn’t met such diligent, educated and motivated girls” among other things. After he said these words, I thanked him and I walked out. “My daughters, I will sell the clothes on my body if need be, so you can go to school.” 

When he said these words, my dad’s eyes were filled with tears and there was a faint smile on his face. We got up and we hugged him tight, crying together with him. That’s when I realized my dad had understood it was a good decision to send us to schoo. I saw that my dad was proud of us, from his green eyes I could see him thinking “thank god I didn’t stop my girls from school”. People who continually opposed our education, started to support us financially when they learned how good we were. 

This is how I continued my education journey. I gave up medicine because I did not want a career in it and it was a very good decision which would impact my life very positively. It was french language and literature, the language of love and diplomacy which entered my heart while we learned french as a subject in school, but also for all the french authors we learned about in language class. It is French which opened doors to success not just in our country but throughout the region and the world.

Nowadays I am a young diplomat in the field of cultural, political, environmental, human and animal rights, european and international integration, theater, music and more. I have a few titles in diplomacy, among them Ambasador for Peace from the Universal Federation of Peace in Swicerland, which is a very holistic mission to me, keeping in mind that in Kosovo and through out the world we need consistent peace rights and freedom. I as a future diplomat, swear to give my best, making my family, Kosovo and te world proud. Me and my sisters are the first women in our family who had the right to go to school and get educated through higher levels. 

Today we serve as an example of future generations to go to school, never stop trying to make their dreams come true. The times when girls had to get married against their will, when their right to go to school was neglected, will always be in the past. I love humanity, I love Kosova.  

E dua njerëzinë, e dua Kosovën.

 

About the author: Mihane Beqiri, 21 year old from Bajgorë village, Municipality of Mitrovicë, is studying French language and literature. 

 

This grant is supported by the Balkan Trust for Democracy, a project of the German Marshall Fund of the United States