PATRIARCHAL OVERDOSE

A few years ago I hesitated to walk with my head held high among the city streets. You know why? Because I was also living in a primitive paradigm. I didn’t know because I hadn’t learned that I can react if I’m harassed. I can raise my voice. I wasn’t aware that it’s not shameful to turn back my head and spit him on his face.

Illustration: Argjira Kukaj 

Routine of reality. A scorching afternoon. You get your lipstick and wear lipstick on your dry lips. You wear the simple dress above your knees, you fix your short hair and wear your classic heels. On the way to your job you face comments like “hair like a boy”; “red lips like a bride”; why are you walking on your heels as if it’s a wedding”; “you should get ready like this just for your husband”.

Welcome to the daily life of a girl from the 21^st century.

While some countries of the world face problems of the modern century, 2019 Kosovo still gossips about clothing.

If you turn your head and show them their place then you’re a low-life feminist, provocative, vengeful…

The heel sounds are more bothersome than the sound of primitive thoughts in my contemporaries’ heads.

In the era of Majlinda Kelmendi I still hear things like: “Girls can play sports, but they can’t compare with male athletes” – said “a feminist”.

This is the time of women’s explosion but the patriarchal Kosovan still sees her as a housewife. You still hear epithets towards brides as slaves. Or girls don’t have a place at their father or their husband. Aija Mayrock would say that a real woman belongs in the conference room.

Three walks around Prishtina’s streets, 30 hypotheses on Albanian mentality. Four walks in my native village, 40 prejudices on my appearance. Two talks on social media, a multitude of epithets.

“No, because girls are only there to have fun with” said a 20-year-old of modern time. Immature youth, elders raised on patriarchy.

A few years ago I hesitated to walk with my head held high among the city streets. You know why? Because I was also living in a primitive paradigm. I didn’t know because I hadn’t learned that I can react if I’m harassed. I can raise my voice. I wasn’t aware that it’s not shameful to turn back my head and spit him on his face. And today, I, the daughter of the 21^st century am not afraid. Centuries don’t walk on my bones anymore. I walk on the century’s bones. We raise our voice for our rights, for our walk, power, clothing, opinions…

The Flower Power Feminists feminist movement of the year 1960 raised their voice for their rights. There are girls in Kosovo who still don’t protect their youth and rights. The reason? They are born, raised and married in a family where only the man’s voice is heard. That voice is heard so strongly and they don’t even listen to the voice inside themselves. They die without realizing their dreams. Without knowing they have a right to inheritance, that her body is hers, that she should raise her voice when she gets harrassed, violated, she takes decisions for herself and she can achieve success. And after many lessons, apathetic men should be aware that feminism is a movement for equality and not against men…

Long reality, shortened to euphemisms.

About the author: Antigona Isufi is a journalism student at the University of Prishtina.